A “blowjob” is definitely a lot less refined than the female equivalent of “cunnilingus” but you’d still never see me shy away from oral sex whether it be giving or receiving.

Sore necks and improper technique can complicate things in the long run, and sex toys are still pretty bad at replicating the sensations, right?

WRONG.

There’s not one, not two, but six noteworthy blowjob simulators out there today, each with their own intricacies that make them stand far above the rest. These cock sucking machines rest on a high shelf in my Tug Cave, eagerly awaiting their next foray into the field of wank.

I’d say these blowjob machines are like my Kryptonite, but that doesn’t quite do them justice.

Much like some robots I know, they are much more than meets the eye.

The Best Blowjob Machines I’ve Tested

The following toys are the best cock sucking machines that I’ve had the pleasure of testing for myself.

While none of these toys are going to top that mindblowing blowjob you received back in the day from your ex-girlfriend (or boyfriend) that you think about from time to time…

They do provide a very satisfying hands-free masturbation experience.

Without wasting any more time, here are my favorite blowjob machines:

#1 – AutoBlow AI

Choosing my favorite toy on this least was an easy choice, once I tell you about the years of development that went into making Autoblow the rising star of the sex toy industry I’m sure you’ll agree!

Autoblow’s conception started off with a simple dream… to create a blowjob machine that feels just as good – if not better than an actual blowjob!

Sounds impossible right?… How could a mechanical object ever hope to emulate the sensations of a real blowjob without trapping a magical sex fairy inside of it?

Well, that’s exactly what the Autoblow AI has accomplished.

Through consulting with Ph.D. robotics engineers and artificial intelligence scientists, Brian Sloan and the Autblow team used 1000+ hours of blowjob videos to program 10 unique, mindblowing blowjob experiences into the toy – each based on an actual blowjob technique!

It’s like having your own personal sex robot in the palm of your hands! But there’s nothing robotic about the sensations you’ll feel – those are very much real thanks to the groundbreaking technology behind this next-level blowjob machine!

#2 – The Onyx 2 by Kiiroo

As ashamed as I am to admit it I tried out some of these types of toys when they were still ironing all of the kinks out. My first “blowjob simulator” was more of a workplace accident simulator.

Not with the Onyx 2, no sir-e-bob.

There are some things you just aren’t going to get at our technology level, like the feeling & dexterity of a tongue and the warm wetness of a mouth. Onyx 2 showed me that there are some ways around these limitations.

Use coupon code “TUGBRO” to save 15% off the Onyx 2 – click here to redeem!

I knew it had a place in my Tug Arsenal once I felt it in action. It’s legitimately completely automated, all it involves is holding the unit in place (not unlike how one might hold say, the back of a head) and pressing the right buttons. The rings inside push in and out on the Fleshlight sleeve inside (thank God for crossovers!) in I’m not even sure how many different patterns, but there’s a lot!

All in all, it makes for a good mixture of tightness, sensation, and tilt-your-head back fun. For those who are so inclined, it can even be synced up to certain properly formatted explicit videos. I’m known to run a few simulations from time to time, to keep my reflexes up.

 

#3 – The Max 2 by Lovense

Even someone as capable as me, Tugger, sometimes needs a good sidekick to make the job easier and maybe even learn a few things along the way.

If the Lovense Max 2 were a real girl, she’d win the position in a heartbeat. I don’t know if that has some nasty implications, but within the superhero world just about everybody has had a fling with their sidekick, we have office romances too, you know. It did make for some awkward moments at the Justice League, I’ll tell you that much.

There’s not much that you won’t have seen or heard of before if you appreciate tugging as much as I do, except for one little detail. Along the side of the housing of the Max are air pumps that can be inflated & deflated at will to apply pressure onto the penis in a way I’ve never seen before in a toy.

This air pump mixed with the tight and slippery (when properly lubed) inner sleeve really puts the sensations right into blowjob territory in a way that almost makes me blush.

 

#4 – The Launch by Fleshlight

This here is the granddaddy of blowjob machines, it’s old, it’s clunky, it’s a little hefty to boot. But much like in the same way you wouldn’t say no the original Batmobile, I had difficulty saying no to the Fleshlight Launch.

It predates the Quickshot Launch by some years now and is made with technology from Kiiroo (the Onyx 2 people) for what at the time was one of the first worthwhile automatic masturbatory experiences. Shaped like a futuristic football and now compatible with just about any Fleshlight out there, it’s saved me hundreds in IcyHot lotion for a sprained wrist (super-strength has its pitfalls, okay?) but now it is more of an antique than anything else.

There’s about three different speed settings and three different stroke length settings, despite what the wheeled controls might suggest.

For me it’s like my first bicycle, I don’t see much of it anymore, but it will always hold a special place in my heart.

It’s my pleasure to announce that we’ve teamed up with Fleshlight to bring you one of these exclusive coupons for our fellow TugBros! 

Simply click the button below and use code: “TUGBRO10” at checkout for 10% off your purchase storewide!

 

#5 – The Quickshot Launch by Fleshlight

Last but not least on this list of cock sucking machines is the Quickshot Launch.

This thing has Tugbro written all over it! Just look at the thing! Two big beefy spaceship handles to control the action and automatic, customized tugging? There’s no way I wasn’t going to at least stop for a look during my daring adventures to see if this toy would pass muster.

The earlier two options are interesting in their own right, but the Quickshot Launch is what I reach for when friction is the aim of the game and I’d rather not do any of the tugging myself. All it takes is a flick of the wrist and the insertion of a Quickshot (it’s like a mini Fleshlight with two open ends) and away you go.

Of course, there’s no suction or other blowjob-like characteristics, but the ability to focus sensation on the glans, shaft, or base and fine-tune the strokes between 1-4 strokes a second makes the Quickshot Launch a total homerun.

 

#6 – The Cobra Libre II

I actually hadn’t thought about it one bit until I stumbled onto this toy: I can’t think of any toy that tries to be a headhunter and give some love exclusively to the tip of the penis.

So much to the delight of my rather neglected knob in came the Cobra Libre II. Don’t let pictures fool you, this thing is absolutely tiny with just enough room for the tip and a bit of Tug Fluid.

Those with the benefit of still having a frenulum (banjo string) have access to some mind-bending stimulation. In the wrong hands, this thing could compel a man to say his deepest, darkest secrets. I make sure to use mine frequently enough to keep myself acclimated should I ever become captured, and maybe for some personal reasons as well.

 

Well my fellow Tug Bro’s, that’s all I have for you today.

Happy tuggin’!

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