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How to change the taste of your jizz

Hey there semen connoisseur,

Let’s assume you mean to make semen taste better for someone else. If you’re just after a snack for yourself you can probably find something tastier in the refrigerator.

Semen has been variously described as tasting acidic, salty, bitter and even like bleach! When was the last time someone said ‘Hey, I’ll have another shot of bleach thanks bar keep. And this time make it a double!’? A small percentage of the population find it pleasant. Even tasty! They are the rare few though who enjoy a shot of salty, warm goo.

Fortunately many report that manipulating the taste can be as simple as reducing or increasing certain foods in your diet. A lot of these things are not only good for improving the taste of your jizz but are also healthy choices in general. Remember, what goes in to your body affects the taste or smell of whatever comes out. Your sweat, spit, pee and semen included. If you’ve ever gone down on a woman on a regular basis you may have noticed the effect her change in diet can have on her taste. So it figures that what goes into your body will alter the taste of your semen.

It’s said that vegetarians have better tasting splooge – I say ‘It’s said’, because who the hell could stand hanging out with a vegetarian long enough to find out? – and this is suspected to be as a result of the elimination of red meat which is apparently a major culprit in funky tasting ejaculate.

To improve the taste for your significant other (how thoughtful of you), there are a number of things that you can do to alter the taste for a more pleasant end result:

  1. Drink more water.
    Semen is mostly composed of water with a smattering of fructose, sodium, protein, vitamins and a few other nutrients. Drinking a healthy amount of water, like 8-10 glasses a day not only increases volume for those epic cum shots, but also helps remove toxins resulting in a better end product. Being dehydrated can cause semen to be chunky or stringy and along with taste, texture can be a deal breaker when it comes to cum. Wheat germ and omega 3 oils can help produce smoother cum.
  2. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine and various drugs.
    All of these things are commonly known to cause your semen to taste stronger and bitter.
  3. Avoid these foods:
    Onions, asparagus and garlic. High in sulfur, they can give your cum a very strong and unpleasant taste.
    Broccoli, cabbage, kale etc. Anything from the cabbage family can make your semen taste bitter.
    Red meat. If you need a lot of protein in your diet, go for things like chicken and fish. Stay away from fast food as well. The oil and fats they are cooked in can give you foul tasting cum. As a general rule, most unhealthy foods are bad for the taste of your cum.
  4. Eat more of these foods:
    For lighter more pleasant tasting cum, try eating more pineapple, watermelon and kiwi. Most fruits like banana, papaya, apple, melon, mango, grapes etc along with many types of berries can increase the amount of sugars in your semen for a sweeter tasting load. Parsley, wheatgrass and celery are also known to give it a nicer taste due to the chlorophyll in them.
  5. Try these spices:
    Cinnamon, nutmeg, peppermint and cardamom may also increase the pleasantness of your or your partners flavor.

By keeping on top of your diet and including plenty of water, fresh fruit, clean spices and a generally healthy food intake you can give your output a much better taste. And if you’d like your partner to swallow and not gag, it’s only fair you play ball!

If you’d like to give your semen a super flavor boost, try the following smoothie recipe:

Super Spunk Smoothie (from dontspitswallow.com)
1 cup pineapple, fresh or canned
1 banana, frozen
1 cup apple juice
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 TBS honey

Blend together and make sure to drink it regularly to keep your semen tasting great, not gross! You never know when you’ll need it.

As a bonus, if you suddenly find yourself lost in the jungle for a few days, you’ve got a sweet tasting snack at the tip of your … well, you get the drift.