Photo: Dollarphoto

What would you say if I told you you could have another man jam a needle in your nutsack – and all for the low low price of $1500 – $3000? If you’re into getting your rocks off by having your balls trampled on by women in heels you might say ‘sign me up!’. The correct answer for non sadomasochists is ‘NO!’, although you may out of curiosity wonder why. In that case, may I introduce SCROTOX!

Scrotox is exactly what it sounds like – botox in your ball sack. Botox is a commonly used neurotoxic protein that can reduce wrinkling by switching off the nerves that control the muscle in certain areas of the body, mostly used to reduce wrinkling on the forehead and around the eyes. It’s also used to inject and stop areas of the body where people may sweat profusely. So why are we sticking this stuff in our balls now?

Scrotox can reduce wrinkling and sweating in your balls. The only thing that causes my balls to sweat is thinking about sticking a needle in them. The prospect of a slightly smoother looking sperm bag might not be selling you on the procedure. But how about the fact that according to Dr Jeremy Hunt from the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons, Scrotox also makes your balls appear larger and hang lower!

“The SCrotum will look smoother, larger and often will hang lower”.

Well okay then! I can make that thing between my legs that looks like Krang from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles look more like a squishy bald mans head? Sign me up!

The procedure is being offered around the world with popularity increasing in places like the UK, USA and Australia. A lot of guys ‘down under’ are concerned with how they look ‘down under’.

But what do women think? It’s probably a stretch to think your girlfriend is going to be wowed by your sack now that it’s negligibly larger looking. On a scale of how important or arousing balls are to women – other than that they carry some pretty important cargo – we’re probably on par with armpits or elbows. Now where’s the Peentox to make our dicks look bigger!?