It’s the classic romance story; boy and girl lock eyes across a crowd, they approach each other, neither say’s a word – they kiss and fall helplessly in love! Only in this case, boy sees the back of a girl, figures ‘that’ll do’ and proceeds to rub his exposed penis against her in a mosh pit until he spews an unwelcome load on her back. Who say’s romance is dead?

The 20 year old woman, identified only as Emma, was attending the St Kilda Festival in Australia when she noticed noticed the man behind her was getting a little close, even for a mosh pit.

“He was just up against me and a lot of people were all really close to each other but it made me feel uncomfortable,” she said.

On the other hand, it sounds like this ‘wanker’ was plenty comfortable.

“Everyone was jumping up and down on the ground along with the music so it was hard to tell if he was sort of going along with it or sort of doing something else. I just felt something on me and turned around and saw him doing up his fly.”

Like the true gentleman this guy clearly is, he not only didn’t thank the young woman for a lovely time and arrange a second date, he simply walked ‘calmly’ into the crowd and disappeared as soon as he was done.

If the guy who perpetrated this fairly unpleasant act of ‘masty spit and run’ ever reads the news story about himself, he’ll probably just read the first three words of Emma’s following quote and consider it a job well done ..

I’m pretty happy that it wasn’t worse, pretty angry, and pretty angry towards men,” she said.

Read the full story over at


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