Why is sex so great?
A) because it’s more fun with two
B) it’s wet!
So it figures that a wet wank beats a dry one… without lubing up first – you might as well be using sandpaper.
Let’s be honest, it’s no fun buying lube from a store. You and I both know the girl behind the counter knows the lube we’re buying isn’t for actual person sex. She knows it’s so you can go home and lather up your pud for a steamy fap session…
It’s demeaning making small talk while you’re thinking “I wonder if she thinks I’m a perv”, and she’s thinking “I wonder if he’s going to use me in his wank fantasy?”.
The answer to both questions is probably yes…
Thankfully… there are usable lubes in almost every nook and cranny of a home.
In fact, there is one lube you’re carrying around with you right now: Saliva!
Spit is the working man’s number 1 go-to for free natural lube.
The best option though, in my humble opinion, is picking up some Fleshlube from Fleshlights online store. It works much better than any of the items I’ll go over which you may have laying aroung your house. It was created specifically for wanking purposes. It works fantastic and one bottle will last you quite a long time (it’s also super cheap).
Use code *TUGBRO10* for 10% off Fleshlube Elements Pack at the Fleshlight store!
Fleshlube is marketed as the premier option both for freehand masturbation and when using a Fleshlight, it’s available in a range of styles, sizes and with different types to sample.
Fleshlubes provide a great array of options for you to enhance your masturbation experience, with, or without a Fleshlight.
With your choice between FIRE, WATER, and ICE all making up the Fleshlubes elements collection, you can cater your pleasure to whichever mood strikes you!
Lubricants Found Around The House
A few popular alternatives for a slippery dick that you can find around the house are:
- Vitamin E and Body Lotions
- Vege/Olive/Baby/Mineral Oils
- Butter! (the added bonus is that you can clean your johnson off with some bread afterward and slap some Nutella on it for a post wank snack)
- Lard
- Crisco
- A banana skin (be sure to have a good excuse for your mother to explain why all the bananas she bought look like they were put through a shredder)
Another lube that requires a little more effort but is closer to your body’s own natural lube is egg whites. Don’t use the yolk. If you have an egg separator, use that. If not, separate the whites from the yolk by using a spoon.
Lubes To Avoid
As tempting and convenient as it might seem in the shower, refrain from using soap, shampoo, shaving creams or conditioners.
If you’ve used any of these before you will probably have experienced a burning feeling in your urethra.
A burning sensation is your body saying “hey asshole, didn’t you read that thing about the egg whites?”
The burning sensation will go away, but isn’t it better for the entire masturbation experience to be pleasurable? Painful peeing and ejaculation after masturbating is like having your girlfriend kick you in the balls immediately after sex. Unless you’re into the whole pleasure/pain thing.
Masturbating with lubricant is more pleasurable by far for most men than masturbating dry. For added stimulation, try warming your lubricant in the microwave for a few seconds. The warmth stimulates the natural warmth of a vagina. Be careful to test it before applying it to your penis. Burnt dick should never be on the menu!
